Entry #102

She sits on the mountaintop outside Phoenix of Ashla, with her half-grown  Nexu curled up in her lap. She scratches the vicious creature behind its massive jaws as if it were nothing more than a large puppy, and leans back on the rock. She pulls off her helmet, and lets it rest on the ground beside her, before pulling out a dried hunk of fruit.

The aroma of the fruit is faint, but her senses latch onto it like a hungry cath-hound. As it wafts through the air, it instantly takes her back to the forests of Kashyyyk. In a moment, she's surrounded by tall trees and creeping plants. The whole world is teeming with wildlife..  a big, dangerous, harmonious mess. Organized chaos....  but peace. Everyone told her she would die in those forests within a week without a guide. The spacers she hitch-hiked with to get there actually had a pool going on it that was up to about five-thousand creds. She'd been out there for two months. Surviving. Studying. Learning to thrive amid the chaos. For a long time she would visit the forests often. Whenever she needed to think..  or to learn..  or to slip away from the galaxy for a while and work in secret.

Then she thought back to the beginnings of her training in force alchemy. Just beginning to alter nature...  to learn to speak its language...  to make it listen to her commands...  to guide it to grow in the image she chose. It was a beautiful, and interesting, and... terrifying... power. Inevitably...  Nyx pushed that power as far as she could while maintaining control of it. For a long time, she hid it well, but there were some among the locals who could see her intentions clear as day.

"Nature is not meant to be dominated." They would tell her "You can't fight it. It will always win."

Yet though she was talented, she was still naive. Their words of wisdom weren't advice in her ears...  They were doubt. They were a challenge. They were only spiteful and trying to restrain her power. ....but they were right.

Then there was the day when she fled with her family to Kashyyyk. The inquisitors were after her. Her husband and newborn twins were with her. Though they were able to hide themselves in the underlevels for a time, they eventually were drawn to the surface, and had to fight their way offworld. They defended their family valiantly..  but the fight got desperate...  and she resorted to employing her full power. There were some in the village who wanted to wanted to kill her, before she harmed anyone else. The elders, though, spared her life because of the circumstance..  on the condition that she never returned again.

As the night grows chilly on the mountaintop on Dantooine, the vision of those long-ago memories from Kashyyyk fade away. Her Nexu has long since settled down on her lap, snoring in a deep sleep. The twi'lek woman pulls her collar up to break the wind, and snugs her kerchief about her neck as she leans on the warm creature.

She almost doesn't want to eat the fruit in her hand. Just having it with her...  a piece of the Great Tree itself...  brings a certain measure of peace. Of course it was meant to be eaten. The wookiee she'd met earlier... who not only didn't wish to kill the "Lost One" on sight, but actually wanted to help her ...said it would help clear her mind. She breaks off a small portion to eat, and stows the rest in a pouch she uses to store food for later.

As the rain begins to fall down, she rouses her sleeping Nexu, and heads back to town for shelter. Not that she ever minded the rain...  but somehow, this time, it feels safer to be inside the city.

Comments

Entry #101

   Ashla, Babe, I know you can hear me. Remember when I patched this into your comm. in case of emergency? Well..  this is one of those. Answer back. I need to talk to you. Make sure Vahn is asleep, and Charles isn't following you.


*After long wait, a click, a buzz, and some odd beeps can be heard on the comm. Then, the static seems doubled, and a tiny voice comes onto the comm.*


   Mum! I'm he'e, wot happened!?
  I don't know what happened, Ash, but I need you to help me find out. You are a very important witness, and this is a big responsability. Are you ready for it?
   Aye, Mum, I'm 'eady.
   Okay..  I just need to ask you a few questions. I'm missing bits of memory. Now..  I'm told that Keren and Stlian and I were fighting. Is this true?
   I don't know..  you we'e a'guing with Uncle Ke'en..  he was ve'y c'oss and wo''ied but you wanted to do something fo' a mission. It was about that thing I told him..  about you and Uncle Zan's G'andfathe'. Uncle Ian was just watching, I think. He was upset afte' you sent me downstai's, though. I didn't see him, but I knew.
   Good...  good..   Okay, now, do you know what I was doing with Vahn that made Keren so upset?
   A little bit..  I saw you f'om the hall by the lib'a'y..   You we'e t'ying to make a Smokey. You did something else, though..  and you we'e laughing and not 'ight. *She starts sounding a little scared and quiet* You we'e just like the monste'..   f'om ou' d'eams, befo'e Sayon t'apped him. You matched just what he told me you would be like, and I got sca'ed, and didn't do anything. Then Mr. Plo came inside, and he got ang'y with Uncle Zan's G'andfathe', and they fought, and Mr. Plo got zapped with lightning! And Uncle Zan's G'andfathe' made a fi'eball, too, but you's et his. Then you' fi'eball died, and you fell down, and I 'an back to the lib'a'y befo'e anyone saw me. I didn't tell Ke'en wot you looked like, though..
   I see..   don't worry about telling Keren. It's all right if you did. You're not in trouble.
   ...but I DIDN'T tell him! I only said you t'ied to make a smokey! Then he went away to look fo' you, and came back late' ca''ying you. You still couldn't walk, I guess.


   Understood. What happened after that? Who all was there?
   Uncle Ke'en, Uncle Ian, and you, and me, and To'in.
   Were Father and Zan there at all?
   No, they we'e only on the comm. afte' Uncle Zan's G'andfathe' came to get me.
   Wait. When did Vahn get there?
   I don't know...  I didn't see him befo'e, he just came down the stai's to get me. He said you we'en't well, and that I'd be staying with him fo' a little while as you got bette'. So I followed him, and we bo''owed Uncle Zan's ship, and we went to space and talked to eve'yone else on the Comm.
   Vahn flew a ship??  ...and used a comm.??
   Well...  Nnn..nno.....   I tu'ned the comm. on fo' him...  and..  *She mumbles almost inaudibly* ..and I flew the ship.
   YOU FLEW ZAN'S STARSHIP!!!???  ...I   Wait what??  I'm not even mad! I'm...  I'm impressed, actually. You can FLY??
   Aye. Uncle Zan said I could fly if I ate pie in my pajamas, and I made su'e I had a pie, so it's OK.
   I'm going to pretend I know what that means, for now, and ask you a few more questions....     When did Torin get there?
   Smokey found him when I was fixing the lights. I think he was sca'ed of Smokey..  but Uncle Ian found him, too, and b'ought him upstai's to look fo' his things. You and Uncle Ke'en we'e all 'eady a'guing. Then you told me to go downstai's and play with Smokey, so I did it, and I stayed the'e until Uncle Zan's G'andfathe' came fo' me.


   I see..  so after Torin arrived, you didn't see anything that went on? Anything at all?
   Nothing..
   Did you sense anything?
   Well Uncle Ke'en was still wo''ied..  and Uncle Ian got ve'y upset, and did something odd like a mission. Then you we'e sca'ed and hu't like a mission failed. Then I hea'd a blast, and a lot of 'uckuss and things got ve'y confusing.
   Did you sense anything else from Stlian? ...or anything at all from Torin?
   To'in's only new..  I can't tell when something's f'om him o' not..  Oh!  But I know he was sca'ed of Smokey! ...but that was befo'e I went downstai's. Uncle Ian is hiding f'om me, though..  I can't hea' him anymo'e..
   I see..   but nothing out of place..  nothing like--   *She pauses a minute, to think of how to put this delicately* Do you remember when Sayon became one with the force? What you told me you saw? .......anything like that?
   You think Uncle Ian is DEAD!!?? *The little voice shreiks* Is THAT why nobody wants to tell me what's happened? Is THAT why I'm going away?
   Ssshhh..  No, Ashla, listen to me. I think he is -not- dead. I don't remember sensing anything like that either, and if you didn't, then I'm twice as suspicious. However he may be in trouble. Now quiet, and don't wake Vahn. Settle down..  are you in your right mind?
   I think so...   it's OK.


   Good. You've been very helpful and observant, Ashla, and I'm very proud of you. Now you must be very quiet and sly, too. Don't let anyone know I've been asking you questions. Don't volunteer any information. If someone asks you, you may say we spoke. You may say I asked how you were doing, and where you were. You may say we used a comm.link. You may say I was giving you lessons. It's OK, because these are not lies. You may NOT say anything else about our conversation, and if they try to get you to, you say "I don't feel comfortable speaking about it" and DON'T let them get anything out of you. This is a mission, Ashla. Do you understand.
   I understand.
   Good girl...   I love you, Ashla. Tell the others I love them, too. Good-bye, now, and mind that Vahn isn't awake. May the force be with you.
   The fo'ce be with you, too, Mum..


*END*


Comments

Entry #100

   Ashla is growing up fast. She's been hiding out with Stlian lately, and in the Nix bunker. She says he fixed it up nicely, and she's all proud of herself for helping him. She has a lot to be proud of, these days. Stlian is training her to fight and evade in style. She told me all about how she was able to elude him in a training exercise--  all in her little dress and heels! What impressed me most, though, was her quick thinking. She hid in the river. Remembering stories from Lawrence and me, she ducked under the water, and breathed through a straw-like reed she bit off while she was down below. Crafty little one..  I think she's ready for more advanced work.

   Pockets, in the meantime, is doing work of his own. He's been meeting Crosswire and Ry for me, in the underlevels of Coruscaunt, to help with a facet of our investigation. Because of the similarity between Plo's situation and the situation I was in with Silverson down there, it's important to cover all bases. I thought he might tire of always shuttling back and forth between Coruscaunt and The Rim, but he seems very enthusiastic about the assignment for some reason. He was such a... well.... wimp when I took him to the commons in Red Sands, I thought for sure he'd hate the dirty, dusty junkheaps in the underlevels even worse. Yet Lawrence says, as he supervises the missions, that he can't keep away. He'll spend hours even after his assignments with Ry and the other children scrounging for salvage in the heart of the dump itself! Always the ones you least expect..

   Not to be outdone, even little Blake is making advancements. She's getting stronger, and even a bit mobile. If I set her on the floor, she'll scoot and wriggle and flop about like she's trying to get somewhere. She doesn't seem to be advancing in speech, though, at all like the twins did when they were her size. It's a developmental milestone that I'll have to consult the ...preistess? ...preistess in training? ..doctor? Kiora about, next appointment at the temple. I've already asked my mother about it, and she says that while Blake does seem a little slow, in that respect, children tend to catch up in their own way, in their own time. It may, we theorized, have to do with her force-traits compensating for her lack of audio-communication skills. She seems to be a natural telepath..  unconciously sending breif signals when she stares at others. It makes me wonder if she can "hear" as well as "speak". In any case, I tend to sheild her face with a blanket when we go out, scince I've noticed that the phenomenon only occurs when she makes steady eye-contact with another.

   Keren is marrying a bothaness, Ryuko. If I didn't know better, I'd say that maybe he took on something of Sayon's.. eh..  instinct..  with his memories. In any case, I'm happy to see him in love again, and happier still with a woman who will stand by him. He's given me the honor, and duty, of seeing to the details of the ceremony, and marrying the pair on my yacht Starstreak. I only hope thepreparations will be to his liking. While he does say that however I think is best will do fine, I worry that there are certain tastes of his that some practical matter or other might offend. He wants, for example, for nobody to be armed- something I wouldn't have even thought of on my own. I've made it a point to study more traditional weddings, with Ashla's help, and we're going to build a nice "alter" around the technical preperations. I hope it turns out well.

   I know I have more to report, but I wanted to focus on some nice things while they're happening, before I go back and tackle the heavier things. Take the good while you can have it, I say. The rest will be saved for another time...  hopefully with more answers than I have now.

*END*


Comments

Entry #99

   The Enclave is after Ashla. It's her first time being really, truly targeted. She's paranoid, as is to be expected, but she's a trooper after all. She's with her father now, training to move quick and shoot straight. She's got sharp eyes..  and with some practice she'll be a decent marksman. Which is good, of course, because the Enclave must be fought from a distance. Their resistance to the force leaves them invulnerable to her battle meditation, and would disrupt anyone's senses if they tried to fight meelee with the force.

   I know whatever the hell they're putting in the water these days is tripping my senses big time..   I could hardly fly low near them, when I was attempting to provide air-support for the others as they fought. I'm just glad that by that time, Ashla and Plank had made the jump to hyperspace, and the Enclave troopers were busy battling the Imperials. I crashed my ship in the nearby shrubbery on the hills.

   Zan and Stlian were another story..  they were in pretty bad shape, but an unlikely hero showed up to pull us out of the fire. Concordius Nix. Never. Never in my life, will I ever beleive ANYONE is EVER as dead as they say they are. Least of all a Nix. Stlian was right..  they're very hard to kill. He put Zan in his ship, giuving him a chance to heal himself and escape. Then he put Stlian in my ship, which he jury-rigged somehow to get it to blast off again. I told Stlian about it later, and he still doesn't beleive it's him.

   Cord, Stlian and Falcun's father, never died, but has been in hiding for years. He's almost completely cybernetic, now, and yet he refuses to upgrade his vital components. I suppose I can understand that..  I'm not exactly comfortable with modifying my body- replacing my missing leg, for example -either. What I find it hard to understand is why he would hide himself so long from his own children. I know fear has a lot to do with it.. there's a lot of fear with him. But there's also something else. I get the sense that he's hiding something, still, from me. Lying, even. I didn't press it, though.

   We've got bigger fish to fry. Falcun has been poisoned. It's a designer poison that's been crafted to react negitavely with bacta. I wish I knew more..  but I haven't even seen him. Cord has gotten to him, though, and even saved him from some rodian slime who tried to slip bacta into his tank. He dropped an old CorSec thing on the way, the rodian did. Another clue. A few suspicions arise...  Zairus, who's in possession of an alchemical holocron...  Rogue CorSec, who experimented on him in the past...  even Father's name came up. I don't want to beleive Father could have possibly done it..  but his absence has been suspicious, and after what he did to Stlian I have.. less faith. It's not something I don't beleive it..  but it's not something I'll totally dismiss, either.

   After talking to Cord, I needed to clear my head to focus. I busied myself putting the finishing touches on the Kimogila leather that I've been working on scince Plo and I took on that group of 'em on the salvage run. Figured I'd run it down to him tonight..  use it as an excuse to check on him, too. Didn't get a hold of the medicine, but he liked the leather. Wants me to sew it onto his swoop..  which I admit sounds like fun, as well as another convenient excuse to hang around.

   While we were there, we ran into a bounty-hunter down on her luck. The poor girl's sister just died, while they were chasing a mark together. She was twitchy, the hunter was, and melancholy...  I'm not sure, but I get the sense she was a zeltron, even though she didn't act as one. There's something odd about her..  I feel bad 'cause I wanted to help her, but blast..  I have my own affairs to attend to right now. Besides..  I think Plo's got this one.


*END*


Comments

Entry #98

*The device clicks on as the scratch of leather skidding against stone can be heard. The woman can be heard growling quietly like a wounded animal, and trying to catch her breath. The voice that speaks next isn't her own, but a man's voice with a serious high-Coruscaunti accent.*

   Bloody hell..  you're worse off than you looked....

   I'm sorry, Lawrence..

   Hold still. *The clatter and clank of gear being un-fastened, and hooks being unhooked, rattles into the mic as he speaks.* Whatever possesed you to keep going long enough to get to this point? It was only a salvage run.

   We took down one of them..  wasn't so bad..  'till the rest of them came about.  It was my fault. I couldn't carry my weight. I.. heh.. I'm too young.....  to be getting too old for this.......

   You baited three kimogilas at once, Nyx-Warda, what the devil did you think was going to happen? It's a wonder your sullustian friend didn't bring you home in a body-bag.

   They were only small ones.........

   I doubt that mattered much. There's no shame in backing down..  salvage isn't worth your life.

   It's not the salvage, it's the principle. If I can't take on a set of dumb animals, who's to say I'm fit for any combat at all? How am I gonna' pull through when it does count? *She breathes in sharply, and muffles her cough with a handkercheif.* Am I..  *cough* am I that washed up? ...that worn out? ...that rusty? I'm a kark-blasted has-been....

   Combat skills return with time and training. The fighting was only a small part of your mission, anyhow. *There's a rustle as he helps her pull up, and sits beside her* Think of your objective. Did you learn anything?

   Well, I learned that the sherrif isn't the one calling the shots. There's someone else..  someone that can't be identified. I should be relieved, but I can't help but think of what happened with the Starbender assignment. It's just..  too damn close..  ye'know?

   I see..   You know where Starbender is...  but then, he wasn't the only one in on the assignment, back then, was he? There could be another puppet-master-

*She breathlessly completes the thought...* Jerard Blaaq...

   He may not be involved..  but it would be best to cover all bases.

   There's something else. Plo has some kind of medicine he takes now..  "Ass kicking" medicine. Some kind of inhaler. If Blaaq..  Silverson...  anyone like that is involved, it could be more than just medicine. He did seem a bit different..  but it could just be the change of setting.

   Just in case, you should try to take a sample, and see if you can get Zan to perform a titration on it.

   Aye..   after I sleep for about a month...  heheh...

   *Chuckle* Yes...  priorities, priorities....... *The jacket can be heard being shoved away, with the rest of the gear......*


*END*

Comments

Entry #97

   Blake Breil'lya Turncoat.

   Yes, clan Alya approved the use of Breil'lya as a middle name. I'm not to use it "As a last name on any legal documents, or attempt to claim any clan affiliation, or political position" but that's OK. Never wanted that anyway. All we wanted was to honor a friend.

   That was months ago. I've niglected this record, in the meantime. As usual there's much to report...  and as usual I'll probably be mentioning it in passing if at all for the sake of moving on and keeping the record going.

   Scince then, I have "died" and Blake has been born. A Lokian named Jakcen found me hiding out ad training in the Agrilat Swamp, and after hearing a bit of my story, offered to help fake my death to take the heat off me. He passed the story along to a friend who owed him a favor, and that story made it all the way to the holonet. According to reports, I attacked Jakcen on his ship with my lightsaber, and he killed me, and spaced the body fearing I might come back as a zombie. In reality, I'm staying at one of his safehouses in Aventine, taking advantage of the heat dying down to take it easy for a while and take care of Blake.

   I intended to retire, actually...  but I should have known better than that. Keren came to see me...  and he needed my help. I couldn't turn him away. Not again. Not scince Virantis. Besides, I trust he won't call me for actual combat unless he absolutely has to. I took a couple minutes...  two minutes....   to take my rest, before I gave him my answer. A "yes", of course.

   Plo wasn't too happy to hear about that, especially scince I couldn't tell him exactly what I was doing--  just that he'd have to be turning his bug-cams off for a little while. I guess that makes us even, though, because truth be told I'm not to happy with some of his recent dealings either. He promised he wouldn't get involved with the spice trade. Like an idiot, I beleived him, but he ended up betraying that promise. When I found out, I locked him in my chamber in the workshop. I had intended to feed him all the kark-blasted spice he could take, and then some, and watch him go through the withdrawls...  just so he would understand exactly what he was getting into. My nerve failed me, though. I let him go, and he went with Zan to drag him into void knows what, and I snuck off to the balcony and cried like a weak little bitch. I don't know what to do now. I failed-- bet on the wrong pod. He's gotten too close to us already, and if I can't help him...  well..  I'll have to do my duty, to ensure the family's safety.

   Bloody hell. No rest.

   Well..  at least there has been some measure of mercy in my dreams. The nightmares have..  not ceased..  but settled, I think. I'm almost certain it's all connected to whatever Keren did when Blake was born. The day she was born, there was a massive disturbance in the force that tremored through all of Lok like a quake. With no time to get off the planet, I could tell then that it was do or die. I went to the scource of the disturbance, and found Keren already there, along with several other jedi I didn't know. We were all there for the same reason. We came to a small complex in the middle of the desert, filled with traps and pitfalls, and alchemically altered creatures growing in tubes. Though I shied away from the combat, my sight, at least, was useful in detecting the traps that were laid ahead of us. Though we got out of the complex with the information we needed, I failed to see the mission through to the end. It was just like on Korriban, when the twins were born. The disturbance in the force was too much..  and I'd started going into labor. When we got to the pickup point, I could barely walk.

   Father took me to the hospital, and called the family to aid us. I blacked out, and fell into a healing trance, trying to fight back the force-corruption that was already a part of me and keep it from Blake. In a while, I heard Keren's voice in my mind, and saw him in the dreamstate. His image was decked out like some kind of ancient knight. Losing my battle against the corruption, I asked him to use his force-light on us to protect the baby. I expected that straight light-energy would kill me, but he did something different that I still don't understand. I think he made some kind of circle between us, and channeled the force-light through it, so that the shadows that tried to attack us broke themselves against his armor. Also, somehow, I could have sworn I sensed Stlian somewhere in the dreamstate trying to absorb our pain to aid us. Father said it was impossible, but "impossible" is a flexable word. I could never tell, though, because I lost touch. I didn't die..  but I found myself alone in a world between the dreamstate and the netherworld of the force. I could see the physical world on the other side of the glass, but couldn't break through it. A shadowy hand reached through the glass, and wanted to pull me back, but Keren came up from behind me and turned me away from it. He pulled me through the barrier himself, and as it happened, the shadowy figure passed straight through us and disappeared into the void. I blanked out. Everything was silent, and blank, and hollow, and too bright to see anything in. When I came to, I could hear Mother's voice, and Blake's crying. She gave me my child, and we were all alive, and everything was all right.

   We stayed in the hospital for a while. I was too weak to be moved for a couple days, and for a little while after that, I couldn't even wear armor or walk long distances. We were healthy, though, and many harmful effects of the corruption were undone. I no longer have to worry about killing someone just by touching them, for example. Mother explains it as the corruption being like a scar, wheras before it was like an open wound. It's still there. I still feel it. Yet, I've been granted a measure of rest from it-- a chance to re-learn control..  and hopefully not re-injure myself. I've begun to walk, now, and can wear -some- armor, but I'm still not one-hundred percent. I intend to take advantage of this while I can. Second chances don't come cheap..  or often.


*END*


Comments

Entry #96

   We went to Sayon's memorial, at the site where he passed away. Rurra, the bothaness who organized the rescue mission, organized the memorial as well. It was strange to be among all these other beings who knew him. Most of them, I didn't know. Zan and Stlian were there, brought, and I brought the children. We thought it might be good for them to understand what happened, and to have a chance to say goodbye.

   We stayed a while, and they were tired, by the end of it. Especially Ashla. Pockets, I wonder if we'll ever need to worry about. It's like I was telling Stlian. He's not half as sensitive as Ashla is, because growing up around her, he was in a sense forced to build up an immunity to emotional stresses. She not only feels the emotions of others, but projects her own. He's learned to shrug it off, more or less, to keep from being effected too badly.

   Ash, of course, lacks any such resistance. I used to worry that this would make her weak, but now, I'm not so sure. This Battle Meditation that Vahn theorized about..  it's all too real. Talking with Muaarga and Stlian about it, the things I heard..  they're both inspiring and terrifying. Battle Meditation is a rare gift, and those with true meditation have even decided the outcome of whole wars. She will need to be taught to handle her talent responsably..  but also protected from those who would use her for their own gains. We've decided she'll need to be watched, and not just by her bodyguards. When she's not with Lawrence or me, she'll be trusted with Arden, Zan, Muaarga, Keren or Stlian. Vahn, I'm not so sure about.

   I don't know what to think of Vahn. I can't figure what his game is. Either he has none, or he's very good at hiding it. Everyone has a game, so I'm inclined to believe it's the latter, especially when you take his age, skill, and experience into account. I remember his political aspirations, too..  some kind of free planets alliance seperatist movement.. though as of now he's the only one left of his particular faction. Except Ashla...   she takes it to heart because, truth be told, I take it to heart. Which makes me wonder..  is -this- his game? Is Ashla the key to seeing his politcal visions realized? Muaarga looked into her future.. he said he could see her as a great leader, he just wasn't sure of what. Of course he also said it didn't seem dark. A faction that practically doesn't exist yet, I'm guessing, would be hard to identify in a vision. He also said it, whatever it was, didn't seem to be dark. If Ash is the key to Vahn's success..  and Muaarga's visions are as accurate as they have a habit of being..  perhaps I shouldn't interefere with them being brought together, and fulfilling this destiny. Then again..  mayb it wasn't destiny..  maybe it was a warning.

   All I know is that, even now, she's very powerful whether she realizes it or not. She hurt Vahn badly that first day when they met, when she mistook him for an enemy. On the flipside, just recently, she kept herself and Stlian from getting hurt, by blocking a berzerk drain of mine while nearly forcing me to hug her. I wouldn't touch her or anyone before, because I was afraid of that drain getting out of hand. Still..  both times, she seemed unaware of having done anything at all. She didn't mean to hurt Vahn, or even attack him, that day they met, yet she subdued him effectively. She didn't mean to defend anyone or heal anyone when she hugged me, yet she controlled a condition which even I can't control.

   We didn't have much time to think it over, after it happened. I was still holding her with me, when the Enclave came for me. Stlian held them off, while I went down to the basement with Ashla. For the first time in years, I picked up a lightsaber. I used it to hack away at the rock, and seal the entrance, then pile more rock against the archives to conceal them from veiw. The goal was to carve a tunnel through the earthen wall, and escape before they reached the library. The library was never reached, however, and Stlian brought us to the surface. We weren't out of the woods yet, though. They were all around us..  void dead-spots in the force where forests should have been. Stlian lent us his speeder to flee to Libria, and we took refuge in the basement of Father's old bunker. Zan showed up.. and Falcun.. and Ek'fe.. and a small army of CorSec officers. I ducked behind the bar, keeping Ashla under cover while they battled it out on the upper levels. In the end, the enclave lost that battle, but I get the feeling this isn't the end of it. Now that they know about Ashla, they'll be after her too. Also, if they're bold enough to even come to Libria in the first place, I expect they'll have no qualms coming again in greater numbers. They know we're here now..  but I don't know if we should leave. We're running out of places to run to.

   Someone else also knows we're here. Messy came after me. That sounds horrible to say, but I can't call him by his new name. I thought he was dead, but no, he's alive and warped worse than before. He also has an apprentice. They came down to the bunker, after me, wanting our knowledge. Somehow he knew we were in the bunker. I wonder if he can sense me.. in which case there's even more to think about. Dosni was there, too. He came to answer the warning over the network about the Enclave, but he made it after the battle. Down on the lower level there was a force-feild, just outside the elevator. The rest of us were on one side of it, away from the elevator. Dosni, Messy, and the apprentice were on the other side of it. Nobody knew the code to the force-feild. I could pass through it, if I concentrated, parting the current, but I couldn't bring Dosni back with me. The apprentice attacked Dosni, and he held impressively well. I took Ashla, and hid her, and stayed behind with her while the others handled Messy.

   While we were there, Ashla asked me about Messy.. about why I'd said he was a friend once.. I told her the story. She asked me why they were fighting, and then, why I didn't stop it. Truth be told, the thought didn't occur to me that I could try to stop it. I wouldn't have gone and tried if Ashla hadn't asked me, but when she did, it was like I couldn't say no. I went into the other room to find Dosni on the safe side of the forcefeild, and our side engaging in a taunting-match with the other side. I stepped in to talk to Messy face to face, adressing why he was here. Knowledge. Knowledge for what? Knowledge is useless without training, I told him. The situation quieted somewhat, as Messy called his apprentice back, and we agreed on a bit of a cease-fire. I stepped through the force-feild, parting the current around me. Zan looked at me like I was fucking crazy. I really should have been fucking crazy.. because passing through that force-feild left me defenseless while I was doing it, and once I got through, my odds weren't too good if they'd decided to fight. I guess.. I don't know..  some hopeless part of me still almost trusts him, and maybe feels I owe him that trust for what he did for me. He sold his soul to save mine. I can't help but hope that I can help him still, at least just a little bit.

   I got a good look at him, for the first time, to see how far the corruption had spread. It was deeply rooted- a part of him, even, by now. I knew there was no way to remove it completely. Then I thought. The same could have been said for me..  but then I was able to contain it with so much help. Then I thought of why he was corrupted. It wasn't because of any evil aspirations of his, or some horrible deed he had done- it was because he had been attacked. It was darkness without purpose. I thought what purpose he could have. At one point, I would have said protecting me, because that's what he would have said..  but I've always known it was something more than that. I know, if I were in his place, I would have wanted freedom, or redemption, or both. I know he himself wanted to forget a lot of things, especially order 66, and that he used to recognise a higher morality than his programming would allow him to follow. By now, I doubt he still cares for the morality or the redemption..  does he? I expect that maybe he doesn't care.. or thinks it's to late.. or probably thinks he's above it now that he has power. Then it hit me. The power. Forcers were gods to him. If power is all he wants then that he can have, and I can even help him with. I promised to train him at the Garden House, and he left, taking his padawan with him.

   Afterward, Zan was bugging out something bad. Turns out the creepy-side-of-the-force is catching up with him, too, and he's got some kind of force-sensitive disease. It's playing a sick game of chicken with him, trying to assimilate him before he assimilates it. He's in the same boat as me, as he put it. It sounds familiar, in a way. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I get the feeling that with a little bit more information it could be understood and beaten. I don't know how much information he has on it himself, scince it seems like he just recently found out about it. Apperantly Ek'fe was teh first to know, and she damn near held him hostage to keep him from going out and doing something stupid and sucidal. Snipes, they totally love each-other. They should just get kriffing married already. Everyone thinks they're married anyway. Zan says he doesn't wanna' put her through losing him if he ends up dying of this thing, but like I told him, she's gonna lose him anyway. I say he should just make the most of what he's got left, and just take the chance. He left soon after that. Maybe to tell her maybe not. I think he's gonna' wait it out. One or the other is bound to sense something anyway sooner or later.

   Dosni ended up crashing at the bunker, and Ashla and I are going to be staying down under here for a while. I guess that's all we can do until we think of something. Until then..  I guess we just have patience. Heh..  like I always say..  not my strongsuit.

   Wish luck.

*END*


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