*She recites the following quietly and mechanically, as if reading a report*
I have to explain what's been happening while I'm still in the mood to think about it, because if I don't, I have this feeling it's going to bite me in the hind end.
It started when this lady called, saying she had Zan's comm.link.. turns out she wasn't no lady, she was an inquisitor. The very one who killed him. Didn't find out until it was too late, and I had already dragged Muaarga, Maegi, and Aamalia into the trap. She got me. They went after me, with Caelorn and Koveu coming with them. I was in the chair when they arrived, and the inquisitor let me meet them, thinking I would agree to be her apprentice. Well, it turns out that was a trap too, and Koveu was working for her. He had a bomb, and though we were able to perserve our lives by deflecting most of the blast, we were all taken prisoner and tortured.
Then she let us go. Why in the hell did she let us go? Each of us had a tracking device implanted, so I can only assume she wanted us to lead her back to more force sensitives. Maegi took care of those, though, and afterward we sought refuge in Virantis. I was checked in to the medical center, having lost a leg at the inquisitor's hands. Not everyone stayed, but I went back to my apartment after I was treated, and Muaarga stayed mostly near the commons in the starport. My children arrived in the safety of Virantis the day after I returned to my apartment. There, we've been staying.
There are bounty hunters after all of us now.. swarming the galaxy.. Fathuran has assured me that my friends would be safe in Virantis, should they seek refuge here, and that I would not need to worry anymore. Not all of them want to stay, though. They still fight.. still travel.. Meanwhile I have been here. I had been unable to help them in their exploits.. I have listened to them half doom themselves.. all because of what I have gotten them into. It was clear that I was the weakest link, in the prison and beyond, so for that among other reasons I have renounced my knighthood, and remained in hiding in Virantis. I wished only to stay here in peace.. and not have to worry.. and hope the others would do the same.
Wishes soon proved to be worthless. I have stayed here in safety, but I wouldn't call it peace. I regret the decisions I can't take back.. and I haven't the mind or means to make the sort that could redeem me. Yet, I have been half-guilted and convinced to try anyway. Muaarga.. only he could have talked me into it.. I expect he used the empathic bond that has somehow formed between us to the argument's advantage in this respect. He even said it himself, in so many words. His words were the last straw on the kaduu's back of advice and appeals. Even Keren called me back... inadvertantly guilted me into not abandoning my student Legov as I had abandoned him. McCay called later, trying to save my sorry soul. Then when I met with Muaarga.. this. So here I am, trying like an idiot, to find my way again, and provide what help I can. I have a bad feeling about this.. I failed the people I care about, and turned my back on them. I have a lot of damage to undo, and I don't think it's possible to undo it. Well so be it. As I said, I reap what I sow now. With luck I will at least not make anything worse.
*END*
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I have to explain what's been happening while I'm still in the mood to think about it, because if I don't, I have this feeling it's going to bite me in the hind end.
It started when this lady called, saying she had Zan's comm.link.. turns out she wasn't no lady, she was an inquisitor. The very one who killed him. Didn't find out until it was too late, and I had already dragged Muaarga, Maegi, and Aamalia into the trap. She got me. They went after me, with Caelorn and Koveu coming with them. I was in the chair when they arrived, and the inquisitor let me meet them, thinking I would agree to be her apprentice. Well, it turns out that was a trap too, and Koveu was working for her. He had a bomb, and though we were able to perserve our lives by deflecting most of the blast, we were all taken prisoner and tortured.
Then she let us go. Why in the hell did she let us go? Each of us had a tracking device implanted, so I can only assume she wanted us to lead her back to more force sensitives. Maegi took care of those, though, and afterward we sought refuge in Virantis. I was checked in to the medical center, having lost a leg at the inquisitor's hands. Not everyone stayed, but I went back to my apartment after I was treated, and Muaarga stayed mostly near the commons in the starport. My children arrived in the safety of Virantis the day after I returned to my apartment. There, we've been staying.
There are bounty hunters after all of us now.. swarming the galaxy.. Fathuran has assured me that my friends would be safe in Virantis, should they seek refuge here, and that I would not need to worry anymore. Not all of them want to stay, though. They still fight.. still travel.. Meanwhile I have been here. I had been unable to help them in their exploits.. I have listened to them half doom themselves.. all because of what I have gotten them into. It was clear that I was the weakest link, in the prison and beyond, so for that among other reasons I have renounced my knighthood, and remained in hiding in Virantis. I wished only to stay here in peace.. and not have to worry.. and hope the others would do the same.
Wishes soon proved to be worthless. I have stayed here in safety, but I wouldn't call it peace. I regret the decisions I can't take back.. and I haven't the mind or means to make the sort that could redeem me. Yet, I have been half-guilted and convinced to try anyway. Muaarga.. only he could have talked me into it.. I expect he used the empathic bond that has somehow formed between us to the argument's advantage in this respect. He even said it himself, in so many words. His words were the last straw on the kaduu's back of advice and appeals. Even Keren called me back... inadvertantly guilted me into not abandoning my student Legov as I had abandoned him. McCay called later, trying to save my sorry soul. Then when I met with Muaarga.. this. So here I am, trying like an idiot, to find my way again, and provide what help I can. I have a bad feeling about this.. I failed the people I care about, and turned my back on them. I have a lot of damage to undo, and I don't think it's possible to undo it. Well so be it. As I said, I reap what I sow now. With luck I will at least not make anything worse.
*END*
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