*You can hear the wind blowing in the background on the audiofile*
I stayed around the base today. Took care of some things around the supply house. Did some much-needed gardening down in the citadel's grow-room. While I was there I went up to the quarters. Figured I'd try out that new training dummy Zan dragged in.
It's a lifeless training droid, right? So I walk in there, turn the corner, and start whacking the sith out of it with my staff. It starts talking. It starts saying "Why are you doing this?" "Stop!" "No!" "Why are you doing this?" and it's just standing there. Still. Taking it. Not fighting back. Unngh.. I'm such a wuss. I felt sorry for it. A lifeless droid. I couldn't finish it off. Why are you doing this? I get enough of that from my real adversaries. Now I'm getting it from my target practice? Kriffing son of a murglack...
Why Zan? Why did you make the damn thing talk? It's the second time in so many weeks, that I've been thrown off like this.
The first time was on rememberance day, when I was talking to this guy- not gonna say who on account of I'm not sure if this was a secret of his or not. Anyway, we were just getting away from Theed's Starport. I made the stupid mistake of mentioning how cold and hostile those troopers felt who were walking around the place. Anyway, turns out this guy and his wife were ex-troopers. Got me to thinking about how a lot of folks are suckered into it. Sorta just not bad people, but just people who ended up buying into the propaganda and all that other bolshit that the empire shoves down their throats. People who were just sorta raised not knowing freedom, and figure going out to serve your empire is the norm. Then he pulls out his wife's old helmet. Killed in action. Reminded me just how many of those fellows I had to put down. Reminded me how it affects the folks around them. Sort of stood for the worst of what I could do. One more poor sucker I take out is one more loved one not coming home, and more left behind to deal with it. Kriffin' blindsided me.
Then I went back to Dantooine. That's when I was reminded of why we push on. See, I went down to check out the outpost Tiberion had been working on. As he was showing me around, I sort of came across this Alderaan plant. We got to talking. He told me a little bit about what it was like. Of course, inevitably, it came to the subject of what happened to Alderaan. *There's a breif pause as only the wind can be heard on the file, then she continues* A peaceful planet. Any government that allows that kind of evil to be put on the galaxy needs to be stopped. One that rules by fear. One that can blow up a planet at will just because it's representitives dare speak out against them. It keeps things in order, they say; but at what cost? That's no kind of life for anyone to live. That's no kind of future for the galaxy. War is hell, but it's worth it to save the galaxy from becoming a hell in itself.
I guess, now that I think about it, that's why I can finish a trooper, but not a dummy. Fighting the empire, the thugs, or whatever else is bringing the galaxy down- that has a purpose. The sacrifice is for the greater good. There's the fact that what I'm doing is slowly helping to carve out a better future for the galaxy, and it pushes me forward; helps me follow through. With a dummy, there's nothing behind that fight. No purpose. No virtue behind it. It asked "Why are you doing this?", and I didn't have a good answer. If I don't have a good answer to that question, I have to walk away.
*END*
Comments
I stayed around the base today. Took care of some things around the supply house. Did some much-needed gardening down in the citadel's grow-room. While I was there I went up to the quarters. Figured I'd try out that new training dummy Zan dragged in.
It's a lifeless training droid, right? So I walk in there, turn the corner, and start whacking the sith out of it with my staff. It starts talking. It starts saying "Why are you doing this?" "Stop!" "No!" "Why are you doing this?" and it's just standing there. Still. Taking it. Not fighting back. Unngh.. I'm such a wuss. I felt sorry for it. A lifeless droid. I couldn't finish it off. Why are you doing this? I get enough of that from my real adversaries. Now I'm getting it from my target practice? Kriffing son of a murglack...
Why Zan? Why did you make the damn thing talk? It's the second time in so many weeks, that I've been thrown off like this.
The first time was on rememberance day, when I was talking to this guy- not gonna say who on account of I'm not sure if this was a secret of his or not. Anyway, we were just getting away from Theed's Starport. I made the stupid mistake of mentioning how cold and hostile those troopers felt who were walking around the place. Anyway, turns out this guy and his wife were ex-troopers. Got me to thinking about how a lot of folks are suckered into it. Sorta just not bad people, but just people who ended up buying into the propaganda and all that other bolshit that the empire shoves down their throats. People who were just sorta raised not knowing freedom, and figure going out to serve your empire is the norm. Then he pulls out his wife's old helmet. Killed in action. Reminded me just how many of those fellows I had to put down. Reminded me how it affects the folks around them. Sort of stood for the worst of what I could do. One more poor sucker I take out is one more loved one not coming home, and more left behind to deal with it. Kriffin' blindsided me.
Then I went back to Dantooine. That's when I was reminded of why we push on. See, I went down to check out the outpost Tiberion had been working on. As he was showing me around, I sort of came across this Alderaan plant. We got to talking. He told me a little bit about what it was like. Of course, inevitably, it came to the subject of what happened to Alderaan. *There's a breif pause as only the wind can be heard on the file, then she continues* A peaceful planet. Any government that allows that kind of evil to be put on the galaxy needs to be stopped. One that rules by fear. One that can blow up a planet at will just because it's representitives dare speak out against them. It keeps things in order, they say; but at what cost? That's no kind of life for anyone to live. That's no kind of future for the galaxy. War is hell, but it's worth it to save the galaxy from becoming a hell in itself.
I guess, now that I think about it, that's why I can finish a trooper, but not a dummy. Fighting the empire, the thugs, or whatever else is bringing the galaxy down- that has a purpose. The sacrifice is for the greater good. There's the fact that what I'm doing is slowly helping to carve out a better future for the galaxy, and it pushes me forward; helps me follow through. With a dummy, there's nothing behind that fight. No purpose. No virtue behind it. It asked "Why are you doing this?", and I didn't have a good answer. If I don't have a good answer to that question, I have to walk away.
*END*
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