It's an interesting feeling to find that a friend cares more than you thought.. or believes in you more than you do yourself. By the time Keren left, I felt as if I should take on the whole galaxy or die trying. Damn the darkness to the void from which it came! For today, it can come and get me, and I'll laugh in its face just as Jaelon would have once done! Keren forgave me.. not just in his words, but there was something else there- something that said he believed what he said, and made me want to believe too. For today, I could be the person he thinks I am.
*Her voice has a snap of the old fire in it, and she doesn't even have to swear to make it spark up.*
There's always that part of me that thinks it's not going to last. Well so what if it doesn't, then. I have now to work with, and while I have that, I have a chance to focus. Right now, I have a chance to look past myself and look around me. What do I see?
I see burnt bridges.. oh I can't deny that. I'll have to roll up my sleeves and repair them myself if I ever want to cross them again. Find a way to make up to each person the trouble I have caused. Find a way to prove my worth, again, to White Thunder and the Ceterus.
I see the goodness of friends and allies.. goodness I have to find a way to repay. Every person who came after me during the inquisitor's attack.. even Koveu, though I don't trust him, Maegi seems to see some good in him which is good enough for me to try. Fathuran and the city of Virantis, who provided me safe-haven during this dark time.. I will always wear their colors proudly, and do whatever I can to aid them, big or small. Keren who would come and help me with my darkness after I abandoned him with his... Muaarga who has watched over me all this time... Legov who still believes enough to "find the way" with me... McCay who hardly knows me, but still tries to call and talk sense to me... Lawrence who still loves and trusts me... Everyone!
I see work outside my circle that still needs to be done.. the cause we all fight for that still needs soldiers. Well, I'll give it one more at least, even if it is worn, and shabby, and blind, and one-legged. Even with a broken body, for today, this one soldier has more spirit than a legion of the enemy's endless drone troopers. For today, and for as long as that spirit lasts..
As an old friend once said, "It's all uphill from here" a hard fight, but one worth taking up arms for, the way I see it. For the first time in a long time.. I am not driven by guilt or desperation. For today, I am driven by hope.
Thankyou...
*END*
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*Her voice has a snap of the old fire in it, and she doesn't even have to swear to make it spark up.*
There's always that part of me that thinks it's not going to last. Well so what if it doesn't, then. I have now to work with, and while I have that, I have a chance to focus. Right now, I have a chance to look past myself and look around me. What do I see?
I see burnt bridges.. oh I can't deny that. I'll have to roll up my sleeves and repair them myself if I ever want to cross them again. Find a way to make up to each person the trouble I have caused. Find a way to prove my worth, again, to White Thunder and the Ceterus.
I see the goodness of friends and allies.. goodness I have to find a way to repay. Every person who came after me during the inquisitor's attack.. even Koveu, though I don't trust him, Maegi seems to see some good in him which is good enough for me to try. Fathuran and the city of Virantis, who provided me safe-haven during this dark time.. I will always wear their colors proudly, and do whatever I can to aid them, big or small. Keren who would come and help me with my darkness after I abandoned him with his... Muaarga who has watched over me all this time... Legov who still believes enough to "find the way" with me... McCay who hardly knows me, but still tries to call and talk sense to me... Lawrence who still loves and trusts me... Everyone!
I see work outside my circle that still needs to be done.. the cause we all fight for that still needs soldiers. Well, I'll give it one more at least, even if it is worn, and shabby, and blind, and one-legged. Even with a broken body, for today, this one soldier has more spirit than a legion of the enemy's endless drone troopers. For today, and for as long as that spirit lasts..
As an old friend once said, "It's all uphill from here" a hard fight, but one worth taking up arms for, the way I see it. For the first time in a long time.. I am not driven by guilt or desperation. For today, I am driven by hope.
Thankyou...
*END*
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