*The device clicks on, and night noises can be heard in the background. She speaks into it softly.*
These dreams are getting worse. More vivid. It seems the more I try to quiet them, and the more I try to drown them out, the stronger they come on. Then I try to answer them... I'm just one person. I can't do it all on my own, and when I try, I just end up in a blind whirl for two or three days straight, then wake up in some burned out camp. That won't do. I have to be home.. I have to be around for my family. So then I come home, and I push the calls out of my mind, and I'm happy with them. Then I go to sleep, and it all comes down on me. So then I find myself again, awake at midnight, up on the roof, talking to myself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I wonder how long I can hold out before I literally go insane. Then what good will I be to anybody? Maybe I just need a little time. Maybe we'll just disappear from the galaxy again... not see anybody but the family... shut down my comm.link... try to quiet the voices in my head. Still, I hate to turn my back on the galaxy again; especialy now. I think about White Thunder, and the acadamy, and then Zumi... oh stars... what a hypocrit I'd be if I tried to help her now- telling her to do what I can hardly do myself. Maybe I should tell her about it. Or not. Would be all warm and fuzzy I guess, but I don't know that it woud help anything.
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. [color=009099]*yawn* I'm just so kark blasted tired I'm in no shape to make any decisions right now. *mumble* I'm thinking maybe I'll just stay up here and relax for now if I can. *rustle* 'Least as long as.... *mumble* Mmmhmm...
*Her voice dies down, and the recording is silent for a few minutes. After a bit, you can hear some thrashing about as if hearning someone have a vivid nightmare. Then, there's an alert scream as the recorder is thwacked against the ground*
Kark kriffin blast it all! RRRRggghhh!! What the frell? Oh... *mumble* bantha fodder....
*She starts swearing under her breath in ryl, then shuts off the recording.*
*END*
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These dreams are getting worse. More vivid. It seems the more I try to quiet them, and the more I try to drown them out, the stronger they come on. Then I try to answer them... I'm just one person. I can't do it all on my own, and when I try, I just end up in a blind whirl for two or three days straight, then wake up in some burned out camp. That won't do. I have to be home.. I have to be around for my family. So then I come home, and I push the calls out of my mind, and I'm happy with them. Then I go to sleep, and it all comes down on me. So then I find myself again, awake at midnight, up on the roof, talking to myself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I wonder how long I can hold out before I literally go insane. Then what good will I be to anybody? Maybe I just need a little time. Maybe we'll just disappear from the galaxy again... not see anybody but the family... shut down my comm.link... try to quiet the voices in my head. Still, I hate to turn my back on the galaxy again; especialy now. I think about White Thunder, and the acadamy, and then Zumi... oh stars... what a hypocrit I'd be if I tried to help her now- telling her to do what I can hardly do myself. Maybe I should tell her about it. Or not. Would be all warm and fuzzy I guess, but I don't know that it woud help anything.
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. [color=009099]*yawn* I'm just so kark blasted tired I'm in no shape to make any decisions right now. *mumble* I'm thinking maybe I'll just stay up here and relax for now if I can. *rustle* 'Least as long as.... *mumble* Mmmhmm...
*Her voice dies down, and the recording is silent for a few minutes. After a bit, you can hear some thrashing about as if hearning someone have a vivid nightmare. Then, there's an alert scream as the recorder is thwacked against the ground*
Kark kriffin blast it all! RRRRggghhh!! What the frell? Oh... *mumble* bantha fodder....
*She starts swearing under her breath in ryl, then shuts off the recording.*
*END*
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