What a trip... Keren requested to bring me to the planet wehre he was stationed. Well the didn't say yes, but they didn't say I couldn't get there by shuttle, so he arranged for transportation to the base so I could talk to Diana. I finally got to meet her there. The air was un-breathable, so I was given a resperator device while outside. Keren and his posse were all lined up in something they called a "parade rest" when I got there. Caught me off guard.. I didn't know if I should salute, or watch my back, or call someone "sir" or... well Keren wasn't kidding when he said the military was different. I made a good ass of myself until He lead me to Diana's room.
At first there was no privacy. The lieutenant insisted on being there, and the doctor who was with the Virantis posse when they saved me from Igirts was there also. Soon the Doc was dismissed.. I lost track of when the lieutenant left... Keren followed soon after to go on Patrol. Meanwhile, Diana and I talked. Everything... with everything, she demanded logic. She wanted to know "How" she wanted to know "Why" she wanted to know what made it do that... kept mentioning a bunch of technical stuff. I swear, if only Zan had been there, he could have answered her questions, I bet. It did beat all how he looked at the force as a machine.. Well I don't know half as much as he did about what chemicals in the brain had what effect. Still, I tried my best to explain what I could, and didn't hesitate to point out that there are some things that nobody has ever figured out.
When we were alone, she asked me what it was like to fall, and why I strayed, and what saved me. I answered as truthfully as I could.. Yes. Me telling the truth about myself. Don't look so shocked. She asked me what the light offered. Well.. I never did like that question. The answer is always candy-flavored, and that feels fake, and hard to choke down when you're accustomed to the bitter. Even after acknowledging that, I tried anyway, and that's when Keren walked into the room. Well.. he helped. I'm not sure Diana was buying what we were saying, but I tried to explain that it's just one of those things you have to figure out for youself before you believe it. We never quite got through that part, because the conversation quickly turned to the issue of trust.
It all ran down, as they went over how much she did or didn't trust him, how many times he'd saved her life, how she really does trust him but doesn't think he can do it all, how she should be using the force, wether she should be learning more, how he should provide more logical explainations... Stars, it was hard to keep up with it, so I followed their techniques instead. It seems to me that Keren is a bit of the lecturing sort, and doesn't stop much to argue the little points in between where a fellow would raise his hand. Please hold all questions until the end of the tour. Diana, meanwhile, wants the details. She has to see for herself. She has to be convinced of one thing or another, logically, and know how all the moving parts work before she'll accept it as fact. It's a match that requires compromises on both sides, I'm afraid, if tonight was any representation of business as usual.
*There is a long pause as she thinks it over before she continues*
Well, if you must see for yourself, you must see for yourself. I brought something with me that would let her do just that.. though I didn't know how well she would accept it considering the last time she encountered a force crystal. This one was different, though. It was the gem I pried from the sith statue when Ril and Ri and I were raiding the temple ruins. It was the same gem I had used to show Jaelon the true nature of the dark side, and I used it again to show Diana. She took it... well. Keren wasn't exxagerating when he said her will was strong. Afterward we all talked about it, but like before, they had their own disagreements. This time, the conversation zeroed in on wether or not she would let herself be consumed by anything, and he brought up something questionable he had seen in her past. From that point on it was a game of chicken of the will- Keren on one side insisting that she admit she had given into her emotions, her on the other insisting that her actions were necessary. He just kept pushing and pushing.. It was hard to watch.. I finally whacked him one with my staff. I hated to do it, but I couldn't help putting myself in Diana's place, and I had to do something.
Well.. I asked each a few questions individually. By the end of the day, Diana acknowledged that the dark side was bad, and that she would have a little faith in Keren's teachings. They both said they'd stop going back an' forth like an old couple- paraphrasing, of course. Keren agreed to go a little easier on her, and I think he's going to start teaching her again. Well.. success? Progress? Time will be the judge of that, but I'd venture to say we all made a little headway. Now that I've got all that out of my head, I figure I'll sleep instead of just pretending sleep when someone walks into the room.
*Yawn*
It's been a long day.. I wonder if Muaarga has got his place to sleep in Virantis, yet. He mentioned getting a place there, but he's been staying at the commons all this time. I hope he does. I would have called him now, and talked about today, but heavy stuff can wait just as well. He told me that he was happy things had settled down for the first time in a long while... I would hate to be the one to spoil that. No. To bed with me. I have a good while yet before I can get back core-ward anyway.
*END*
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At first there was no privacy. The lieutenant insisted on being there, and the doctor who was with the Virantis posse when they saved me from Igirts was there also. Soon the Doc was dismissed.. I lost track of when the lieutenant left... Keren followed soon after to go on Patrol. Meanwhile, Diana and I talked. Everything... with everything, she demanded logic. She wanted to know "How" she wanted to know "Why" she wanted to know what made it do that... kept mentioning a bunch of technical stuff. I swear, if only Zan had been there, he could have answered her questions, I bet. It did beat all how he looked at the force as a machine.. Well I don't know half as much as he did about what chemicals in the brain had what effect. Still, I tried my best to explain what I could, and didn't hesitate to point out that there are some things that nobody has ever figured out.
When we were alone, she asked me what it was like to fall, and why I strayed, and what saved me. I answered as truthfully as I could.. Yes. Me telling the truth about myself. Don't look so shocked. She asked me what the light offered. Well.. I never did like that question. The answer is always candy-flavored, and that feels fake, and hard to choke down when you're accustomed to the bitter. Even after acknowledging that, I tried anyway, and that's when Keren walked into the room. Well.. he helped. I'm not sure Diana was buying what we were saying, but I tried to explain that it's just one of those things you have to figure out for youself before you believe it. We never quite got through that part, because the conversation quickly turned to the issue of trust.
It all ran down, as they went over how much she did or didn't trust him, how many times he'd saved her life, how she really does trust him but doesn't think he can do it all, how she should be using the force, wether she should be learning more, how he should provide more logical explainations... Stars, it was hard to keep up with it, so I followed their techniques instead. It seems to me that Keren is a bit of the lecturing sort, and doesn't stop much to argue the little points in between where a fellow would raise his hand. Please hold all questions until the end of the tour. Diana, meanwhile, wants the details. She has to see for herself. She has to be convinced of one thing or another, logically, and know how all the moving parts work before she'll accept it as fact. It's a match that requires compromises on both sides, I'm afraid, if tonight was any representation of business as usual.
*There is a long pause as she thinks it over before she continues*
Well, if you must see for yourself, you must see for yourself. I brought something with me that would let her do just that.. though I didn't know how well she would accept it considering the last time she encountered a force crystal. This one was different, though. It was the gem I pried from the sith statue when Ril and Ri and I were raiding the temple ruins. It was the same gem I had used to show Jaelon the true nature of the dark side, and I used it again to show Diana. She took it... well. Keren wasn't exxagerating when he said her will was strong. Afterward we all talked about it, but like before, they had their own disagreements. This time, the conversation zeroed in on wether or not she would let herself be consumed by anything, and he brought up something questionable he had seen in her past. From that point on it was a game of chicken of the will- Keren on one side insisting that she admit she had given into her emotions, her on the other insisting that her actions were necessary. He just kept pushing and pushing.. It was hard to watch.. I finally whacked him one with my staff. I hated to do it, but I couldn't help putting myself in Diana's place, and I had to do something.
Well.. I asked each a few questions individually. By the end of the day, Diana acknowledged that the dark side was bad, and that she would have a little faith in Keren's teachings. They both said they'd stop going back an' forth like an old couple- paraphrasing, of course. Keren agreed to go a little easier on her, and I think he's going to start teaching her again. Well.. success? Progress? Time will be the judge of that, but I'd venture to say we all made a little headway. Now that I've got all that out of my head, I figure I'll sleep instead of just pretending sleep when someone walks into the room.
*Yawn*
It's been a long day.. I wonder if Muaarga has got his place to sleep in Virantis, yet. He mentioned getting a place there, but he's been staying at the commons all this time. I hope he does. I would have called him now, and talked about today, but heavy stuff can wait just as well. He told me that he was happy things had settled down for the first time in a long while... I would hate to be the one to spoil that. No. To bed with me. I have a good while yet before I can get back core-ward anyway.
*END*
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